Crazy Making: Things Narcissists & Sociopaths Say To Try To Make You Doubt Your Sanity
It's all in your head

This gem of an insult is actually two demeaning insults packed into in one statement. First they are denying your reality by saying that the things that you believe or think are merely figments of your imagination. They are denying you your reality. This statement also induces shame by way of singling you out - it's all in "YOUR head," not anyone else's. They are saying that you are the only one who is thinking this, therefore it can't possibly be true, or be reality. 

You think too much

Not only is this an insult, but it's basically saying that we have too much awareness, and too much care for our lives and our surroundings. Remember how René Descartes said, "I think, therefore I am"? (Originally said in Latin as, Cogito ergo sum) What Descartes meant with this statement was that when you cease to think, you cease to exist. When someone tells you that you think too much, they are literally minimizing your existence.

Your anxiety is making ME crazy

This statement is crazy making at its worst because the abusive person who is saying this is usually the one who is doing the things that are making you anxious. This is evil twisted game playing. Someone who loves you and truly cares for you will make you feel safe and secure, not anxious. Someone who loves you and truly cares for you won't blame you or shame you.

You're too sensitive

A crazy making partner will often provoke you, but when you react to their provocation, they will then brush off your reaction, saying that you are too sensitive and that you should lighten up. This redirects the blame for anything that they do onto you.

I never said that

Whether they are backpedaling or just flat out lying, this is another statement that is meant to deny your reality. Trust yourself. Trust your eyes, trust your ears. You know what you've seen and heard and lived through and experienced. Go with your gut.

You're imagining things

This is basically the same as "It's all in your head." They are once again not only denying your reality, but saying that you shouldn't even believe your own reality. With this statement, they are implying that you are of unsound mind.

I'm sorry you feel that way

This is a highly condescending and extremely passive aggressive statement that implies that the way you are feeling about something is incorrect. 

She's just a friend: (You're imagining things/It's all in your head)

Let's put this into perspective once and for all. If another woman is texting your man late into the night, or he is texting her, she's way more than just a friend. But not just that. What kind of woman texts another woman's boyfriend at odd hours with no disregard to his significant other? Life is too short to deal with people with weak boundaries. Weak boundaries = weak character.

























In conclusion

In a nutshell, crazy making is a manipulative form of emotional abuse that serves one purpose - to make you doubt yourself and make you feel like you're going insane. It is done to take away your power, erode your self-confidence and self-esteem, and put the abuser in a position of control. Crazy making abuse is often veiled and passive aggressive. The only way to win the crazy making game is to leave the relationship. 
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