You can call them rules, or you can call them cold hard facts. Either way, the following list of things you are about to read are facts that ring true for all cheaters.
They have a bad reputation
If you hear they have a bad reputation or hear rumors of their past bad behavior, don’t ignore this information, believe it. Don’t create a scenario in your head where you tell yourself that there’s a chance it might not be true. A reputation is a reputation for a reason. A lot of times when you have invested a lot of time and emotion - not to mention money - into a relationship you will try to tell yourself everything you can to convince yourself that there may be a thread of innocence amid all that you have heard about his or her bad reputation. You’re only hurting yourself when you do this.
Once a cheat, always a cheat
This saying is well known for a reason: because it’s true. There’s a line of either you do or either you don’t. Once you cross that line and you do cheat, you’re a cheater. There’s no going back and it’s who you are forever. Why do people cheat over and over again? Some say it’s genetics, others habit, others say its just because they get away with it. Some people figure, “well I already did it and got caught so I might as well keep going.” These cheaters always land up cheating again.
If they did it with you they’ll do it to you
I’m always surprised about how many people, especially women, either don’t understand this, don’t believe it, or blatantly ignore this fact. If you’re the person a.k.a. “the other woman“ or “the other man“ that someone is cheating on their partner with, even if they land up leaving their spouse or partner for you, it’s only a matter of time until they will cheat on you too. This is the truth!
Believing they'll change for you or believing that it was "a one time thing"
“They’ll change for me,“ “They promised they would change,“ or “It was a one time thing,” These are all falsities. Sadly, people don’t change. One of my favorite sayings that I have found to be so true is, “dating is a preview to marriage.” Read it and read it again because no truer words have ever been spoken. The way someone acts when you are with them is how that person is, and it is how they will act in the future, period. They won’t change for you or for themselves or for anyone else for that matter. Telling yourself that someone is going to change for you is only lying to yourself. They won’t change. What you see is what you get!
Telling yourself, “I know I can change them.“
Telling yourself that you will be able to change them or change their behavior is just lying to yourself. Why would you do that to yourself? Believing that you can change them is setting yourself up for disaster. You can’t change them. Case closed.
Cheaters are liars
This one might be kind of obvious, but it deserves a mention either way. To cheat is to deceive, and to deceive is to be untruthful and to lie. Lying and cheating go hand-in-hand. The cheater always has to lie in someway or another to cover up and hide their secrets. This lying most easily becomes a habit which then becomes a way of life.
It’s not you, it’s them
When someone finds out their partner is cheating they will often search for reasons why and sometimes think it is their fault or begin to blame themselves. Trust me, it’s not you, it’s them. No one “makes“ someone cheat. A cheater does what he or she does because that is what they choose to do. Go easy on yourself, you’ve already been hurt enough, it’s not your fault. It’s not you, it’s them.
Cheaters are manipulative and they will try to always turn the blame around on you.
This is a trait of deceitful people that is especially seen in cheaters. Not only will they do things like pick fights with you so they can leave the house, but they’ll blame you for everything. The argument will be your fault, the reason they are mad will be your fault, that they had to leave will be your fault. Don’t believe any of it. Much of these conflicts are created by them and then put onto you to make you look like the bad guy and to give them excuses to do what they want. If you find yourself in this kind of situation, keeping a journal can be a great way to help yourself see how and when this is happening. Sometimes when you write something down and then wait some time for things to settle and then go back and read again what happened, you see things with new clarity. You will then realize that not everything is your fault. Don’t second-guess yourself. If something doesn’t seem right it probably isn’t right.
Cheaters hide things
This one may seem kind of obvious, but it’s too important to not mention. Because cheaters are deceptive, secretive, and hide things so often, it becomes a pattern and then a way of life for them. You will often see them doing things like turning off their phones or placing them face down on a table or deleting messages right after they read them while you‘re around. Pay attention to the signs.
Cheaters are very paranoid about being cheated on!
Strange but true, cheaters always want you to be loyal while at the same time they are being unfaithful to you. You will find them questioning your whereabouts and your behavior as well as your faithfulness. You might find them going through your things or checking your phone. It’s almost like they know that they are being unfaithful and deceptive so they get paranoid that other people are doing it to them as well. If your partner is showing unfounded paranoia about your faithfulness, take a step back and be observant to what they are doing.